family & school

I just found a cardigan of my mom's in the laundry bin and I'm keeping it. The cloth is incredibly soft and although lilac isn't not my favorite color, I love this cardigan. I can picture her wearing it. It doesn't have her scent or anything which would have made me even happier.

I've started reading the third and by far longest volume of Strangers in Paradise and it's great. What else is there to expect from Terry Moore?

I also did almost all of my math homework already which isn't exactly my style. I don't do them very often because I don't care and I mostly don't feel like doing it. I still have to do my economics homework and according to Julia it's a lot. And then there's my Spanish homework. I simply love school. I know I could have done it during vacation, I know it, but by then I wasn't really aware of  the homework.

I have taken Nikki's shoes off, I've been needing to cuddle him a lot more frequently. On Saturday or so I walked around with him in tow. I want my mommy back. I miss her so much it hurts actually. It's as if there was a big hole in my chest since she's been gone.

I hate being angsty but that's how I feel and I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking about it. It's the only thing I can write about right now and I have gone on and on about that in the past few entries. It hurts.

I have to sit around with my sister and my father later so Jul can tell him about her day today because my mom thinks that if I'm around maybe he won't kill her which I kind of doubt. So, if she dies, I'm not the one to blame. I really hate having to be involved in it because I don't see why I should be around. Jul should be able to handle her problems herself and I shouldn't have to be around for it. So I am annoyed by it. I mean, I don't ask her to sit around when I have to tell my dad something; I simply do. I guess we have a better relationship, but that's not my fault, is it?