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nathaliaIt's amazing how much the truth and being confronted with it can piss you off. Dani is watching SFU, an episode in which Vanessa is suffering from clinic depression and goes on a shopping spree and it hurts so fucking much to see such a thing happen to somebody else when you know how it feels to have it happen to you in real life. It upsets me so much, it hurts, I don't want to hear or see it but know that I have to keep my emotions in check because freaking out just wouldn't be the right thing to do, no matter how I feel.
Yesterday, she fell down while climbing up the stairs. I carried her to bed. She was almost asleep, I was afraid she wouldn't be able to walk. I know this isn't how things usually are, not anymore, but whenever I see anything like this somewhere else, the thought that it could come back, it makes me feell like my heart is being torn out. I want to scream, to cry, to do ... I don't know what. But I don't. I just direct my anger towards something else, for example my friends, as wrong as that might be. There is this little bit of anger I feel towards them for one reason or another and the anger I feel towards her and her condition and whatever just amplifies it so much and ... I don't know. This is just how fucked up I can be.
Yesterday, she fell down while climbing up the stairs. I carried her to bed. She was almost asleep, I was afraid she wouldn't be able to walk. I know this isn't how things usually are, not anymore, but whenever I see anything like this somewhere else, the thought that it could come back, it makes me feell like my heart is being torn out. I want to scream, to cry, to do ... I don't know what. But I don't. I just direct my anger towards something else, for example my friends, as wrong as that might be. There is this little bit of anger I feel towards them for one reason or another and the anger I feel towards her and her condition and whatever just amplifies it so much and ... I don't know. This is just how fucked up I can be.
