I'm the goddamn Batman.

[nathalia]

I've just read the first two issues of Frank Miller and Jim Lee's "All Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder" and God, it's aweful. Batman was never a character I found very likable, what fascinated me about the franchise were the fantastic villains like the Joker, my all-time favourite of Bats' rogue's gallery, Two-Face, and so many others. I always liked Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Alfred Pennyworth and Tim Drake. But not Batman, I didn't particularly care about him. He was cool, but like Superman I didn't care about this particular big gun of the DCU.

If I don't care about the mainstream Batman, my opinion might have been changed by the aweful portrayal of the Dark Knight Miller delivers in these first two issues of his out-of-continuity tale (how comes Miller has only been writing out-of-continuity stories for DC lately?). Batman is a bastard who is full of himself and kidnaps kids, or at least one of them. It's okay for Bruce Wayne who is supposed to be a playboy to be full of himself, and he is in this story having Alfred ring Vicky up unexpectedly to invite her out, sure she won't say no. But Batman should be a contrast. The worst bit is probably his answer to the frightened Dick Grayson's question, "Who are you?" - "I'm the goddamn Batman." He says it in a way as if it should be obvious, expecting the whole world to know him although he doesn't seem to be in the business for so long judging from VIcky Vale's introduction in issue #1. The way he treats Dick and kills all those policemen ... Batman, like Superman, doesn't kill when he doesn't have to. I know that this is another Batman, but still ...

Young Dick Grayson is one character I feel sympathetic about, maybe because I always liked him in the main continuity, especially as Nightwing, and because I can't stand this incarnation of Bats. It just doesn't feel very realistic to have Dick be twelve. If he were, say, five years older, it would be more reasonable. But a twelve-year-old kid, I think he is too young. I know sidekicks are supposed to be young, but Dick isn't even in his teens yet. He is a kid. If seventeen is too old (maybe it is) let him be fifteen. Twelve-year-old boys do not act the way Dick is portrayed and I don't feel comfortable with him being that young, I really don't know why. Anyway, he ia likable. He is keeping up pretty well considering what he has been through and it's reasonable that he would freak out with this maniac Batman who enjoys killing cops.

Alfred Pennyworth. He hasn't been shown interacting with Wayne, so I don't know what kind of butler he is, but he certainly is very resourceful. I got a bit annoyed by him calling Vicky "love" all the time and he looks kinda young, but then again, Alfred's age has never been portrayed very consistently if I recall correctly. Alfred has always been the voice of reason, the one person Wayne would listen to. He might be a butler, but he is Bruce Wayne's father figure and a very important character to the mythos, so I hope Frank Miller doesn't turn him into something ridiculous.

When I started reading issue #1, I was thinking "WTF? Is this a book about Batman and Robin or about Vicky Vale?". She serves as an anchor, someone the reader can connect to. She has the hots for Bruce Wayne, makes fun about Batman who she thinks is nothing but a joke because he calls himself a "flying rodent" but can't even fly. What bothered me a bit was that she was shown in her underwear all the time. I know Miller doesn't think about women very highly, but heck, we don't walk around in high heels and underwear when at home. I was slightly amused by her very realistic nervousness putting on clothes and taking them off again when Alfred called her up. But she was WAY too overdressed and nobody with a little bit of taste would wear a robe that showed the boobs like this. In fact, I doubt it's possible to wear something like this without the nipples showing ... She acts reasonably, wanting to protect Dick Grayson from the corrupt policemen but fails. I think her role will be to serve as a love interest for Wayne while trying to investigate Grayson and Batman. Damn it, why do the superheroes always have to find themselves love interests who work for newspapers?

Gotham City is portrayed as a corrupt city where the police can't be trusted and has no problems with executioning a kid or anyone else. Young Dick is shocked by how Batman deals with the policemen, but Vicky, a tough reporter who knows her way around Gotham has the same opinion about the law enforcers as Batman has: It's better to stay away from them. The question that comes to mind right away is what is worse: To walk into a criminal by night in a dark alley or a policeman? Bats only mentions one cop that can be trusted. I take it that he is talking about Commissioner James Gordon.

One thing I did like -- in fact it is the only thing that I remember liking and I just read those two issues is Batman's description of Gotham when he is flying over it in his Bat-Mobile on the first page of issue #2: "From up here, Gotham City is beautiful. Beautiful. Like Edgar Allan Poe's sweet Leonore, before her small cough brought a spot of blood to her lip and the poet knew she was plagued. Doomed. There's no sign of the dry rot that eats at the bones of my city. Not from up here."  Gotham has never been portrayed as a nice city you want to live in like Metropolis, but at least there are some things that are alright about Gotham. In this continuity however, Miller seems to have mistaken Gotham City for Sin City.

Finally, the art by Jim Lee. Lee has always been a great artist but his work here is astonishing. I don't remember much of his work since he left X-Men in the '90ies but he has improved a lot since then although he has become very generous with deadlines since seeing the publishing schedule of "All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder" ...

In the beginning of issue #1, Vicky talks about Metropolis having Superman. I don't know if this is some Superman or the Superman written by Grant Morrison for "All Star Superman" which I also have on my very big reading pile. So, if the two titles are in the same continuity or not doesn't really matter, I guess.

These were two very poor issues and if I didn't have #3-6 already, I wouldn't care about reading them. But well, I will and I will probably write something about them. I'm curious to see whether this gets better or not...