Hobbie & Shania: Honest Conversation
Jun. 18th, 2008 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nathaliaYou Can't Go Home Again. This one focuses on Wes as well in a way that I really like.
He still looked a little thinner, scruffier. He hadn't shaved since coming back home and the beard that grazed his face made him look menacing -- maybe it was because it was combined with a facial expression that she doubted any completely sane person could do justice.
"Hey," she whispered as she sat down next to him. "How are you doing?"
"Adjusting," he said.
"It might be easier without the beard."
"What? You don't like it?" To enforce the question, he caressed his cheeks and chin where the facial hair was covering his skin. "Don't think it makes me look sexy?"
She stared at him in astonishment. After a few seconds, he burst out laughing.
"You should have seen your face," he explained with a smile.
"When I first saw you like this on a security tape Lawson brought in, I didn't recognize you at first," she admitted. "I've seen many men change in prison, but your transformation was impressive. From the clean-shaven, neat guy to a scruffy, moody inmate in such a short time."
"What can I say? I'm talented. This is something I'm good at."
She nodded and placed her hand close to his on the table, inching closer millimeter by millimeter hoping to touch his but he pulled it away when he noticed what she was up to.
"I never expected you to be good at it."
"Didn't see that side of me, huh? Barely anyone ever does. I think life is easier when you can approach people and your manners and way to speak don't make them think you're a convict right away which is why I never spread the word about it. I can't be that bad at it if not even a DA suspected."
"Assistant DA," she corrected him automatically and when he let out a dry laughter at it, shaking his head, she couldn't help but smile.
"Wes said you had sex with your mark." She spoke very silently as if afraid that someone might be listening in although they both knew they were alone.
He immediately noticed how uncomfortable she was mentioning this. He didn't chalk it up to the fact that she was conversative because he knew she wasn't; instead, he assumed that it was because before this, nobody had ever talked about his sexual orientation, just flat out assumed that he was straight. He didn't blame anyone.
"I was doing my job. You know the penal system. You know that sex can be a weapon on the outside as well as the inside and on the inside, it's even worse."
"I don't understand what your plan was, though."
To her surprise, he put his cold hand on hers that still was sitting on the table. "Oh, dear, I don't think anyone really understood what I was up to. Not the warden who was always trying to bust my balls, not Dennis, not Wes."
He pulled his hand back again, as if under the impression that he had had enought human contact already and thoughtfully stroked his beard. She knew he wouldn't elaborate on his plan. It was something personal that he would under no circumstances expose to her, he had indicated that with the little he had told her.
"Wes was upset when he came back. He didn't say much, but we knew he was upset," she changed the subject.
"I wasn't very nice to him." He looked down to the table for a second before continuing to talk. "To tell the truth, I felt betrayed because they wouldn't let me go through with my plan unquestioned and because Dennis was stupid enough to send in Wes of all people. I was in my element, I had everything under control and Dennis fucked up by letting him in."
"You're really upset by it yourself, huh?"
"You have no idea." He looked into her eyes and after hesitating for a moment, he decided to tell her. "I hated that Dennis didn't trust me to do the job; that he thought I couldn't handle myself. I was upset because he sent someone in but what really pissed me off was that he chose Wes of all people. You see, nobody gets Wes like I do. And the moment I saw him, I knew that whatever we shared was shattered if he saw me like that and I didn't have a choice."
"You've been avoiding him."
"That's because he thinks that we can go back to where we were before I left only that he will always make comments about what he saw. He thinks things can go back to normal. I think that's what he wants more than anything else. But the problem is that I know things changed and I don't want to keep his hopes up until he realizes it himself. I want to make it easier on both of us."
"By breaking his heart as well as yours?"
"Only his."
He still looked a little thinner, scruffier. He hadn't shaved since coming back home and the beard that grazed his face made him look menacing -- maybe it was because it was combined with a facial expression that she doubted any completely sane person could do justice.
"Hey," she whispered as she sat down next to him. "How are you doing?"
"Adjusting," he said.
"It might be easier without the beard."
"What? You don't like it?" To enforce the question, he caressed his cheeks and chin where the facial hair was covering his skin. "Don't think it makes me look sexy?"
She stared at him in astonishment. After a few seconds, he burst out laughing.
"You should have seen your face," he explained with a smile.
"When I first saw you like this on a security tape Lawson brought in, I didn't recognize you at first," she admitted. "I've seen many men change in prison, but your transformation was impressive. From the clean-shaven, neat guy to a scruffy, moody inmate in such a short time."
"What can I say? I'm talented. This is something I'm good at."
She nodded and placed her hand close to his on the table, inching closer millimeter by millimeter hoping to touch his but he pulled it away when he noticed what she was up to.
"I never expected you to be good at it."
"Didn't see that side of me, huh? Barely anyone ever does. I think life is easier when you can approach people and your manners and way to speak don't make them think you're a convict right away which is why I never spread the word about it. I can't be that bad at it if not even a DA suspected."
"Assistant DA," she corrected him automatically and when he let out a dry laughter at it, shaking his head, she couldn't help but smile.
"Wes said you had sex with your mark." She spoke very silently as if afraid that someone might be listening in although they both knew they were alone.
He immediately noticed how uncomfortable she was mentioning this. He didn't chalk it up to the fact that she was conversative because he knew she wasn't; instead, he assumed that it was because before this, nobody had ever talked about his sexual orientation, just flat out assumed that he was straight. He didn't blame anyone.
"I was doing my job. You know the penal system. You know that sex can be a weapon on the outside as well as the inside and on the inside, it's even worse."
"I don't understand what your plan was, though."
To her surprise, he put his cold hand on hers that still was sitting on the table. "Oh, dear, I don't think anyone really understood what I was up to. Not the warden who was always trying to bust my balls, not Dennis, not Wes."
He pulled his hand back again, as if under the impression that he had had enought human contact already and thoughtfully stroked his beard. She knew he wouldn't elaborate on his plan. It was something personal that he would under no circumstances expose to her, he had indicated that with the little he had told her.
"Wes was upset when he came back. He didn't say much, but we knew he was upset," she changed the subject.
"I wasn't very nice to him." He looked down to the table for a second before continuing to talk. "To tell the truth, I felt betrayed because they wouldn't let me go through with my plan unquestioned and because Dennis was stupid enough to send in Wes of all people. I was in my element, I had everything under control and Dennis fucked up by letting him in."
"You're really upset by it yourself, huh?"
"You have no idea." He looked into her eyes and after hesitating for a moment, he decided to tell her. "I hated that Dennis didn't trust me to do the job; that he thought I couldn't handle myself. I was upset because he sent someone in but what really pissed me off was that he chose Wes of all people. You see, nobody gets Wes like I do. And the moment I saw him, I knew that whatever we shared was shattered if he saw me like that and I didn't have a choice."
"You've been avoiding him."
"That's because he thinks that we can go back to where we were before I left only that he will always make comments about what he saw. He thinks things can go back to normal. I think that's what he wants more than anything else. But the problem is that I know things changed and I don't want to keep his hopes up until he realizes it himself. I want to make it easier on both of us."
"By breaking his heart as well as yours?"
"Only his."
