Goodbye To You

( Rant in German )

I'm pissed off.
School wasn't all too long today and we didn't do anything, well not too much. Christmas break's here!
, but I'm still pissed off, blame it on Stefan.
I have to pack as we're going to Brazil tomorrow, well, we're leaving home at about 3am tomorrow which sucks. I'm going to Silly's later, let's see who'll be there, I certainly will stay as long as I can, maybe I will pack my suitcase when I come back, depends on if my mother wants to drive me over at about 1400, I really hope she wants to.
I haven't bought most of the presents, this year passed so quickly, especially close to Christmas and it probably didn't help that I *HATE* Christmas. If it were up to me, we wouldn't celebrate it.
I will type up the latest quotes sometime before we leave tomorrow.
Oh, and the Benjamin Wieland thing is over. I might mention him every once in a while because he has somehow become something we all like talking about, but I won't tease Silly with him any longer because of something she said today.

1sentence: Xavier/Magneto, alpha set

Fandom: X-Men.
Pairing: Xavier/Magneto.
Theme: Alpha.
Rating: PG-13.
A/N: My first try. I've written this quite a while ago, in November IIRC, but I only found it now and decided to post it. It's not very slashy because for me, Magneto and Xavier just don't work in the slashy way.
And for me, Magneto will always be a Jew, though I couldn't settle on a name, sometimes Magnus sounded better than Erik and then, in the next sentence, it had to be Erik. 
written for 1sentence

( Upon waking up powerless ... )

What Kind Of American English Do You Speak?

<table style="color: black;" align=center border=1 bordercolor=black cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#A8FFB3" align=center><font style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><strong>Your Linguistic Profile:</strong></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#D9FFD8">35% General American English</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#A8FFB3">35% Yankee</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#D9FFD8">20% Dixie</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#A8FFB3">5% Upper Midwestern</td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#D9FFD8">0% Midwestern</td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofamericanenglishdoyouspeakquiz/">What Kind of American English Do You Speak?</a></div>

Your 2005 Summer Anthem

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Dani California by the Red Hot Chili Peppers "She's a lover, baby, and a fighter Shoulda seen it comin' when it got a little brighter With a name like "Dani California" Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya A little loaded she was stealin' another breath I love my baby to death"

What's Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

I don't know the song, although I think someone showed it to me once and I liked RHCP in the past, so I went and checked it out on YouTube and what can I say? The song rocks.

Your Love Style

Your Love Style is Storge

For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind (You've been known to still have connections with exes) But sometimes your love is not the most passionate Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave

What's Your Love Style?

Totally true.

How Evil Are You?

You Are 54% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

He he, I know I'm evil. How couldn't I be?

Realistic or Romantic?

You Are A Realist

When it comes to romance, you tend to take a realistic approach. You believe that love takes time, and it's something you have to work hard for. A bit cynical, over the top romance tends to get under your skin. Your heart is difficult to win ... but it's totally worth it.

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Honestly, could you imagine me as a romantic? I'd kill myself before I became a sappy monster.

...

I’m bleeding.
I just hit my closet very hard repeatedly while thinking of a person whose name will not be stated but only implied, I know I’m not the one with the big problem, but He just makes me furious every once in a while, makes me want to hit things. It’s not the way I feel when Jessi’s talking, it’s different, it’s more personal, more emotional. It’s not that I want to hit Him so he’ll shut up because he isn’t talking, I want to hit something because I’m mad at him for hurting Silly.
It goes away and then sometimes it just comes back without a reason and I have to hit something. Today while talking to Silly on the phone, I punched the wall a few times and my knuckles hurt really badly, but not that much that it caused some physical damage (neither on the wall nor on my hand). But now, the closet showed me that hitting it can hurt and bleed quite a bit.
I know that I express my anger differently than Silly does, I know that I show it on the outside, that I want to make the pain go away by hitting things (or in Jessi’s case people), but it doesn’t happen that frenquently that I feel more than the wish to hit something. But today, I have done it at least twice.
It just hurts so much to see Silly like this, broken, in despair, and I know that I can’t do anything, that it will take time for the pain to go away in her, but I hadn’t thought that her psychologial pain would affect me in this way.
Honestly, I like Him, He’s nice and all, but He has made me angrier than most other people. I only remember feeling this furious once and that was when my grandmother phoned my mother’s friends and begged them to come spend time with her because she was drinking and forgetting to turn the stove off. I remember exactly how my mother told me about this, it was on a Wednesday evening in the car, we were almost at home and my grandmother would leave in a day or so and I just wanted to storm into the house and yell at her, cause her physical damage, punch her, do whatever.
So, that’s about how I feel now, but it’s different, I don’t know how, it just is.
He makes me mad. Sometimes more, then less. And sometimes he makes me want to punch things so hard that I start bleeding.
I wonder how Silly can deal with this. It’s hard for me and God, it shouldn’t be, I shouldn’t be too affected by it, I should be mad at him for Silly’s sake, not for my own, but I am. I am really, really mad and I don’t understand why. I can’t understand how Silly can deal with so much pain.