Eyes Open

My eye is a lot better. The swelling has gone down and now I can actually open my eye without felling any pain. Yesterday, it was a lot worse. Whenever I opened my eye, tears shot into is, it got really really wet and I got dizzy so that I had to close it.
Still, I don't think I will get away without being humiliated by Herr Damson on Monday. When I remembered that this would happen, I knew the worst part was far from over; I'm even dreading Monday although I really look forward to seeing Silly and telling her the great news, her reaction will be just amazing.
I just checked my eye again and I know for sure that I won't get away with it, there will be comments by Herr Damson. It feels totally normal to me, but when I look at it in the mirror I know it's so not normal. The eye is black and blue. 



Speaking of pictures, I have uploaded some new user pictures, some of which are actually photos of myself I deem goo enough to be shown around. Both were taken in Fortaleza. There's another one of me screaming that I considered uploading but I changed my mind because although it looks good (well, not good, "interesting" probably fits better), it reminds me too much of the She-Hulk pic I use as my default picture and I really don't want another one that looks like it. I have even considered tweaking it to look hulkish because it is just perfect for it.

The picture:

The story: It was New Year and I really, really didn't drink much (at least not at night), just a glass of whiskey with ice and two glasses of champagne. It was just the great music and the picture that was taken just in the right second, nothing more.

Anyways, it would fit perfectly as another She-Hulk pic, so should I ever be in the mood to do it, I will. Oh yeah, and that girl with the champagne bottle in her hand IS my sister and she IS 14 and that is champagne in the bottle. Any more questions about that should be forwarded to her, I don't know if I should be answering them.


Today was incredibly boring, how else should it have been? The last few days ever since December, 28th I have been partying, drinking and having fun. It was a great week in Fortaleza and I hope we can repeat all of this (maybe not the accidents like when Armando hit his head on the bridge in the pool, when my eye met my sister's knee or when Armando suddenly had a wound in the middle of his forehead and didn't know where it had come from) in February. I really hope we meet again then and party together for a week (yeah, I admit it, I also hope for another thing but this won't be mentioned here.
I still have to finish my "kinda-diary" entries in my notebook that I have started. There is this very important entry I have started but am not done with yet. It's about January, 3rd and everything that happened that day. Looking back, every day in Fortaleza, especially since December, 31st were very long and we did a huge amount of stuff like drinking, hanging around by the pool, going to the city or other places. God, I miss that so much. I want to go back to it. I wish we could have stayed in Fortaleza till January, 10th. I don't car about the days of school I would have missed, I don't care about anything, the time there was just amazing. I had so much fun and I was so uninhibited. 
It's also a bit complicated because here in Germany I can't just go and do the stuff we have done in Fortaleza, the German culture just doesn't allow it. Germany is praised for being a very liberal country that allows youth to do a whole lot of stuff, but the German mentality is just totally different and can't be compared to the Brazilian one.
Neither can the Brazilian music (that I enjoy) be compared to the German one (that I don't even know). On the Barufa, Guilio played some music on his laptop and told me it was by a German band, Kraftwerk, who I have actually already heard of although I can't remember what I heard of them. The Brazilian music is close to reality and even better, Chiclete com Banana and other axé or whatever bands connect to you. When Bell is on stage, you want to make out with people, you want to be close to them. When other people are on stage, you want to dance, not necessarily alone but with the people around you. I remember New Year when it was nearly 6am and Junior and I were standing in front of the stage and I was dancing, I wasn't tired and after this guy hit on me, Junior pulled me close and we danced. I didn't really know the dance, I didn't know the steps, but I enjoyed it. It didn't matter that we weren't dancing perfectly, it was just about the dancing, about feeling the other person. I wish I had kissed him that morning, but I didn't. He had told me about his girlfriend after all and after having made out with all of these guys, with some of them when he was looking, I didn't feel like kissing him would be the right thing.
I discovered that I'm not the good girl at all, that I'm very nasty. And I don't want to give up on being this was for anything in this world. It's just hard to be this way in Germany because of the people's mentality. When you are in some place in Germany and they play music and you dance and stuff, it just isn't normal to be approached by men in the same way it is in Brazil. You can't just walk towards a girl, pull her close and hope she will kiss you.