31_days: In The Snow

[nathalia]

Prompt: let snow and silence make the site of my unseemly appetite (December 1st for 31_days )

 

 

Hank stood in the snow without saying a word. He reached for his holster, his way to feel secure, to tell himself he was safe only to remember that he had let his guns at home like he always did at the anniversary of his friends’ death, the deaths he had been responsible for. Nobody had blamed him, nobody but he himself who knew about the events that had transpired three years ago.

He remembered that he had told them to go ahead, yelled at them that he knew exactly what he was doing and in the end he had killed them, led them all into their deaths while he stood in safety with his sniper rifle, watching it all, never realizing that he had led his team into certain death because he had been too ambitious.

Hank had never talked about it, he never would. He knew too well that he would lose everything he had if he ever did. So he was the only one who would ever know the truth, a truth he kept as close to his heart as he kept his guns to him.

There was only one exception: Today, when he left the guns at home and admitted his guilt to himself for only the shortest time but it was enough, maybe too much but it was all he was going to allow himself to feel.