Who We Are ...

[nathalia]

So, I finally read the email Junior sent me today and I don’t regret it. He sent a hilarious picture of himself and wrote very simple but caring words that can’t be described as anything but cute. I know that you usually don’t label a guy who cheated on his girlfriend more than once, but he is cute. And I don’t need to think about the fact that he is a cheating asshole because I’m not the one he cheated on.

I am not the only one who felt that the mail was incredibly cute, no, I don’t possess enough of a heart to say that out loud first. But I had Silly who did it for me so that I could agree with her. She was the one who convinced me to actually read the email when I told her that I had two emails in my inbox: one I had received minutes ago by Conni and one Junior had sent me three days ago and that I was reluctant about reading the latter, so she told me to go ahead and read Junior’s as it didn’t matter how long I waited, the content would stay the same.

I read the email and I was shocked about how cute it was. Of course, I didn’t say it out loud, but that was my honest opinion on it. I translated the email and sent it to Silly and the first thing she did was tell me how cute that was and I could agree with her without feeling bad about it.

And when I talk about cute, I don’t mean that it was romantic or anything, it wasn’t, it was just very honest and, let’s face it, not something every guy would be able to write. I am so glad to have him as a friend and that I can’t possibly ever fall in love with him. Not only because doing so would be stupid considering the fact that I know that he betrayed the girl he’s been dating for about one and a half years (or so) on a three-week trip, but also because that’s what our song ("Livre Pra Voar" by Jeito Innocente) says. I know it’s strange to have a song with a guy you don’t have romantic feelings for, but we do. Just so you get an idea, I translated the song’s refrain:

“I ask you not to fall in love with me
I am not that man your father always dreamed of
I only have a saint’s face, always do things my own way
Poor thing who believed it
I promise to give you love
But I like being on my own, free to fly
Maybe we could meet each other again some day
I promise to give you love.”


Well, anyway, today was my last day of school. At least for this year. Next year I’ll be back and well, life will go on like it always does. Maybe with some slight changes here and there, but in general it won’t change that much.

I sent Silly the lyrics to The Fray’s “How To Save A Life” because shortly after she celebrated her birthday this year (everyone who was there won’t forget about it that easily), I was listening to some music and I LOVE “How To Save A Life”, but when listening to it that time, I saw Silly in it. I felt like it was perfect, I don’t know why, not because of the situation, but it fits her person so perfectly. And she told me the lyrics were very good, so I sent her a link to the song (thank YouTube) and she loved it. In fact she loved it so much that I offered to copy the whole CD for her. Because my lifelong task is to convert people to indie rock. I already have gotten Ali to enjoy indie stuff by basically forcing her to which is why I love her, she is able to bear with me.

I also mentioned “Story Of A Girl” in my conversation, telling her that whenever I listened to that song, I felt reminded of myself on so many levels (that’s why I chose it as my livejournal’s title). I got her a link to the song and she agreed that this was definitely my song.

I told her about the first time I listened to that song, a story I have never told anyone for some reason. I remember it so clearly, although I don’t know when it happened, but I think it was in the summer of 1999: Gianluca had gotten a few CDs from some friend and he and I were sitting on the floor of the porch in Interlagos listening to a Blink-182 CD and when we were listening to “Story Of A Girl”, Gianluca turned to me and said that this was MY song.

Back then, I didn’t understand why he made the association, in fact I forgot about the song until one day three or four years ago I heard it somewhere and the whole conversation with Gianluca came back to me. I downloaded the song when I got back home that day and listened to it two or three times in a row and I realized that Gianluca had been right all along. That might not necessarily been my song when I was nine years old, but it’s possible because ever since I realized he was right, this has been my song because it says so much about me and now that I have told it to someone, they have agreed with Gianluca and I.

Oh coincidence, my shuffling system had chosen to play exactly this song right now. I think it’s enough for now.

(I might upload the post later on, adding links to all three songs I mentioned in this post later on, but I need to post this now).